so today was interesting

let's get this out of the way. i am not bitch made. i could care less who i'm friends with online. it's who i got in my inner circle in real life that concerns me. so when today i noticed that someone dear to me unfriended me on Facebook. ..i found that odd. like, what happened? did i do something? if i did, why wasn't i told? so instead of sitting there pondering, i straight up asked them. long story short, it doesn't really matter the online status/relationship as long as we go on to maintain our actual friendship. that's all that matters to me. i still love her though. hope she realize that

another interesting tidbit was i spoke to my Wonderwall (i think that's what i shall refer her as from now on) today. i requested to my Godsis to get my message to her that i would like to, i NEED to, talk to her. then behold, i get a phone call, more than what i expected since i thought most was a text, from a private number. i'm glad i picked up. although i do admit that i understand it's a strange thing for someone out the blue to try to talk to you that knows you but you don't remember them; i understood if she was being cautious. i am 70% sure she either a) used a voice disguising app or b) had someone speak on her behalf with her being there. i remembered her voice being more sultry, even though it was a bit deeper. stronger. more vibrant. this person had a higher pitch, a bit almost like an accent. i know she doesn't have an accent. i may be wrong in all this, which i hope, because i do cherished that moment. i was so awestruck. found myself a bit speechless. so many things to tell her. so many feelings to express. i couldn't just pour it all out all at once. in fact, lol, she didn't even remember me! how would she? i stood out like coal in a blackout.

i wanted to tell her i missed her. i wanted to tell her how i thought she was so beautiful from the day i met her til now. i wanted to let her know that i'm sorry for not being there all these years. that i am here. hopefully not too little too late. yet all i could do was blabber about our past and tryna rejog her memories. oh how futile that effort was. nevertheless, she was sweet as ever. i am hoping though that an impression was made and maybe next time she won't blocked her number lol

fuckin sap here, checkin in