and mine apparently wants me to die from choking on a ball of gum. wtf, dream?! what did i ever do to you? more like you did ME wrong by filling it up with all these fantasies like love, and interactions with people who are not in my life anymore, and success, and happiness...boo! who needs those!
however, this time...it was weird. besides the almost killing me part. i was in this church looking thing. i was in the hallway portion looking on from the door to the church. there was a chair there so when the kneeling part came up, i was kinda literally half-assing it by not kneeling completely but had my ass still on the cushion. so in front of me, this Asian girl turned around and was saying something to me about my lazy kneeling. but she had this smile on her face that i recognized immediately. it was 1 of my old crush's older sister.
now...my crush...is FINE. i mean...yeah...and her sister, man...they got good genes. her oldest, not so much, but the youngest got good genes, too. anywho. i recognized the older sis, and i either saw or believed i saw my old crush there, too. regardless, she played no significant role in the dream.
in actuality, the whole dream is pretty much me choking and almost dying on a glob of gum. some reason they were in the picture. that lead me to taking a peek at their lives...however much is available to the public. sometimes i wonder if my crush is still with this guy because i haven't seen him in the picture. but, who's taking the picture, right? the older sister is seemingly in a happy relationship with a buncha kids and shit...but man, they're still fine.
anywho. at this point, i'm just reminiscing. i told myself in my head that there are only 2 people i'd drop everything for if they come back into my life. 1 is unavailable, and 1 is unattainable. then again , maybe i'm just delusional. i mean, really...i'm definitely not gonna hit that low point again and start reaching out to people. it is what it is and i am where i am. but no more than 1 piece of gum at a time!
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